Have you ever sat across from a car salesman and knew that you were about to engage in one of the most grueling negotiations of your life? Perhaps you’re a parent and have found yourself negotiating with your 8-year old on the ratio of vegetables to chicken nuggets on their plate.
Whether we know it or not, we are constantly negotiating. Life is a complicated, slow dance with “portions” so as to not only receive our fair share of the “deal” but also accomplish some kind of middle ground. The only way that teams, companies, organizations, etc. can be highly successful is if both parties “buy in.” This is why it’s so important to sell exactly what they need.
Coaching is no different.
If we are truly coaching, we are teaching the person first and the player second. We are in charge of leading young men and women who have their own thoughts and feelings on how it should be done. Their own unique experiences have molded and shaped them into what they are today. We need to embrace those experiences, not judge the person based on the chapter of their lives we walked in on. It’s what makes them unique and what has helped them get to where they are.
People often ask me what my philosophy is on hitting. It’s simple – my philosophy is to find a plan the hitter wholeheartedly believes in. I’m fully aware that everyone is an individual, so I adjust my verbiage and philosophy to match the ability of the hitter. It doesn’t mean that I abandon my principles, however. There are things I believe in when it comes to hitting, but I won’t let those principles stand in the way of making the hitter feel invincible at the plate.
For example, when I was the hitting coach for the gold medal winning USA Baseball 18U National Team in 2013, I spoke to the boys about the benefits of being aggressive in the IBAF World Cup. I wanted them to understand that the best chance for us to drive baseballs and score runs was early in the count. However, our leadoff hitter was not so sure this would work for him.
He approached me and said, “K-dub, I hear what you’re saying, but I’ve never been good swinging at the first pitch, even if it’s in my zone. I like to see at least one pitch first and then work my at-bat from there. I just feel more confident that way. It’s what makes me who I am. And I’m not afraid to hit with two strikes.”
This was a player that needed to listen to himself more than he needed to listen to me. As coaches we need to embrace players with this type of drive. We need to be on board with his tenacity, and ultimately be able to understand him. To empower a player is to understand him, and who knows, with the right mix of fire and direction, he might just go out and win a gold medal for USA.
And that’s exactly what happened.
Listen In Order To Understand
A big part of coaching is listening to what the player has to say in order to understand their beliefs and to see their vision. Many coaches listen to reply, thus creating an environment of debate rather than listening to understand which creates an environment of working towards a middle ground.
It’s not about who’s right and who’s wrong. It’s about listening, suggesting and having conversations that lead to a happy medium where the player feels he is in complete control of the situation.
This requires a coach to be skilled in negotiating.
Plain and simple, coaches are selling. They’re selling a system, a philosophy, a culture, a drill, a mindset, an approach. They are selling a feeling, a vision, a purpose, WHY and intent. They may even be selling a lifestyle. The ultimate goal is to sell players on how unique they are in order to get them to “buy in” to themselves.
Daily Leadership
So what does this type of leadership look like on a daily basis? Each day provides an empty canvas to paint a picture of what you want your players to do. Each day provides new obstacles and opportunities so be prepared to be flexible in your decisions. Leadership requires, among other things, patience, humility, compassion, tough love, honesty, and the negotiating skills to create lifelong impacts on your players.
There is a lot that goes on behind the scenes getting a player to “buy in” to themselves. The finished product on the field doesn’t just come about because they took a few swings in the cage and grabbed their favorite bat on their way out to the field.
Coaches help players arrive at their final destination when they understand the art of negotiating.
What are you selling today?
Love,
KW
For more than a decade, Kevin Wilson has been one of the most respected hitting coaches in the game. He works behind the scenes as a private hitting consultant to some of the best hitters in Major League Baseball. In 2013, Kevin was the hitting coach for the USA Baseball 18U National Team. Team USA beat Japan for the Gold medal at the IBAF World Cup in Taichung, Taiwan.
He is the author of the Amazon #1 Best Seller The #GoodBatting Book and Finding Clarity: A Mindful Look Into the Art of Hitting and co-hosts a popular podcast, KWB Radio, that showcases unique conversations with the pros. If you want Kevin to speak at your next event or if you want take advantage of his popular 2-day KWB Experience for players and coaches, contact Kevin today!
Follow Kevin on twitter @KWBaseball and visit his website KWBaseball.com