A few years ago, there was a player who came to me who was struggling. He was once a top prospect, and he had really started to dig himself a deep hole. He didn’t lose his swing, as much as he was losing his mind. He was in a dark place in his life, and baseball was something he was beginning to HATE.
He picked up the phone and called me.
I was ready to help.
For me, it’s easy to teach someone how to swing a bat. It’s easy to teach them how to HIT. But the hard part is trying to figure out the person – who they are, what strengths they possess, while diving deep into their person to find who they are at the core.
There are so many variables at play when you start to teach the person first.
Back to the player I mentioned earlier. The darkness that hung over him is never a good place for anyone to be, let alone a baseball player trying to make it to the big leagues. The pressure of playing at the highest level brings feelings and experiences that you didn’t even think could happen when you first embarked on your journey. Over the course of time as you rise through the levels in the minor leagues, you become more and more aware of how stressful it is on not only yourself but your family and friends. But nonetheless, we have a lot of work to do.
So I began to dig deep down to find out who the person really is.
I began to take walks with him. I wanted to know his background. Where he grew up. WHY he was playing baseball. What his hobbies were outside of the game. What his relationship was like with his family.
Everyone Is An Individual
We all come from different backgrounds, which provides us different experiences. And from those experiences come different feelings, emotions, doubts, fears, strengths, visions, etc. Each experience is unique to the individual, and you can’t change the past. But what we can do is work on influencing the future.
So in order for his swing and approach to play at the highest level, we needed to find out what he was made of. I started firing questions at him, trying to pull the information out of his heart and not just from the automative response his brain thinks I want to hear. Every question has a purpose because every answer slowly reveals every thread of who he is. To be someone a player trusts, I have to be a world-class listener, and if I’m going to open my mouth and give him advice on how to swing a bat, or how to HIT, I can’t do so until I know exactly who he is.
In the midst of my usual process of “digging deep” into the player’s past, we uncovered something that he had never taken a closer look at before.
His faith.
He came from a strong Christian background and grew up in the faith. But like most of us who play the game at the professional level, the environment and stresses lead players to either stop practicing their
faith, or push them farther and farther away from what they believe in.
In our conversations, I noticed that in the past when he was doing well, he was a different person – a man who leaned on his faith for his courage, strength, mindset and confidence. It was a subtle, but recurring theme that I was picking up on. I also noticed that he was not giving it much thought as to WHY he did well with it and didn’t do well without it. He was caught so far down in his rabbit hole, that it wasn’t as clear to him, as it was to me.
So instead of going to the cage to fix his swing and approach, we went to the Bible.
Yes, the Bible.
He had become selfish. It was all about him. He began to compare himself to other players. He was so enamored with how others were performing compared to him, that he became jealous instead of grateful. He used to be a good teammate, but now he was burning more bridges than he even realized.
So, we took the focus off him and put it on others. I reminded him that we are all on this Earth to positively impact the lives of others. I told him that if you don’t believe me, take a look in the Bible. He struggled at first, like many of us do when we are deep in uncharted waters. He wanted to believe me. He knew deep down that this was the right move because once upon a time he had been that giving, caring and unselfish person. But as is the case with most things in life, it was easier said than done.
But nonetheless we began to dive into his faith. We started finding verses in the Bible that related to where he was in his life both on and off the field. Slowly but surely, he began to change. I could tell by his demeanor that he wasn’t fighting as much. His tone had become calmer. He was beginning to become more reflective. He made a conscious effort to spend time getting to know his teammates. He was starting to find his PURPOSE and WHY again in life and baseball.
And in the midst of all of this, a pretty cool thing started to happen…he began to hit the ball. He started to crush doubles and homers. His strikeouts fell, and his on-base percentage went up. And all of this happened without showing him a new-age swing, sitting him down in front of slo-motion video or trying to improve his launch angle.
He simply found his way back to his faith.
Whatever your faith is, whatever or whoever you believe in, there is something special about being in sync with WHY you’re on this Earth. When you feel you’re walking alongside someone/something else and you’re not alone, the weight of the world is lifted off your shoulders.
We can’t do it alone. We need someone who we can trust to experience this life together.
Over time, I get to know the player extremely well, and the player gets the opportunity to learn about me and my past. I make sure I share with them my faults and mistakes, not just my success. The role of a mentor and leader is to show times of vulnerability. Times where you allow the person you’re mentoring into your life, so that you can share wisdom, not just knowledge.
Wisdom is an important part of teaching, coaching, mentoring and leading. Wisdom comes from experience. Knowledge only comes from textbooks.
When sharing wisdom and life lessons with players, I give them an opportunity to see that they are not alone. When I do this, they begin to trust me because now they understand that I’m helping them from experience, not because the diploma on my wall says “you’re now an ‘expert.’”
During the process of sharing experiences with each other, a beautiful thing begins to happen. I am no longer their “hitting coach.” I become their mentor. Their friend. Their confidant. Someone who they can come to with thoughts and feelings on things outside of hitting a baseball.
Initially, you may call me to work with your swing and approach, but you end up realizing you’re looking for someone to walk alongside you during some of the most difficult times in your life.
And when that moment comes, I’m grateful for the opportunity to be that person you choose to be by your side.
Love,
KW
For more than a decade, Kevin Wilson has been one of the most respected hitting coaches in the game. He works behind the scenes as a private hitting consultant to some of the best hitters in Major League Baseball. In 2013, Kevin was the hitting coach for the USA Baseball 18U National Team. Team USA beat Japan for the Gold medal at the IBAF World Cup in Taichung, Taiwan.
He is the author of the Amazon #1 Best Sellers The #GoodBatting Book and Finding Clarity: A Mindful Look Into the Art of Hitting and co-hosts a popular podcast, KWB Radio, that showcases unique conversations with the pros. If you want Kevin to speak at your next event or if you want take advantage of his popular 2-day KWB Experience for players and coaches, contact Kevin today!
Follow Kevin on twitter @KWBaseball and visit his website KWBaseball.com